tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53000312847120154162024-02-07T07:33:35.032-05:00Tara StearnsTara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-67174681270124742652014-08-22T22:17:00.000-04:002014-08-22T22:17:56.281-04:00New Year's in August<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Just a random thought... </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">In
the days following the anniversaries of Emily’s birth and her passing away,
things start to settle.<span> </span>In a way it
feels almost like New Year’s where the countdown begins to next August 19<sup>th</sup>.<span> </span>I make resolutions to appreciate what I have
more and to spend more time with the kids.<span>
</span>Seriously, just like New Year’s.<span>
</span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">And maybe I just discovered why December 31<sup>st</sup> doesn’t excite
me as much as it does others.</span></span></span>Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-33967636188921321542014-08-19T07:48:00.001-04:002014-08-19T08:20:33.138-04:00What This Bereaved Parent Needs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m writing this on the eve of a very difficult day for me
and my husband. Ten years ago, on August
19<sup>th</sup>, we had our first child, a daughter named Emily Rose. She only lived 36 hours. We miss her every day, so it’s not a difficult
day because our grief is any greater. It’s
difficult because it prompts more reflection about her short life and how her
loss has impacted our lives. I say “our”
but I can only truly speak for myself.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It seems throughout the years, with each anniversary I focus
on a slightly different aspect of this part of my life. I don’t always write about it—in fact I only
posted about it <a href="http://tarastearns.blogspot.com/2012/08/if-you-really-want-to-know-me.html" target="_blank">one other time</a>. I don’t even
talk about it all that often, though I think about her Every. Single. Day. Without fail.
It’s not an easy subject to bring up.
And when I do, it often comes out rather awkward.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What I have come to realize is that I help contribute to
this awkwardness by NOT mentioning it.
Sure, it’s not an easy subject to bring up, but there are many times I
chose not to say anything when there is an opportunity. I think I’ve perfected this to the point where
people in my everyday life, people who I’ve known for a long time, forgot.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On Friday last week, while I was preparing to be out of the
office today through Wednesday, many people, including those that have worked
with for the past thirteen years, told me to enjoy my time off or asked where I was
going. All perfectly normal responses to
learning someone will be off for a number of days—especially during the summer. But, I couldn’t help feeling disappointed
that those who <i>knew</i> what happened had
forgotten.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Kind of unfair of me.
But kind of not, too. It seems I’ve
worried so long about protecting others from such an unpleasant topic—not wanting
to be a “downer”—that I’ve helped erase it from others' minds. But even with family, who I know have NOT
forgotten, I may have given the impression I don’t need help every once in a
while.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I find myself without a
babysitter this year. This may upset a few who have helped in the past, or would help if I asked. But </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">after ten years, I
wish I didn’t have to ask for someone to w</span></span>atch my kids so my husband and I can
go to the cemetery. It’s a
given. It's hard enough thinking about her birthday as it gets closer. The last thing I want to do is turn it into a production; who, when, for how long... Or have to make my way down a list of people who are working, or will be away, to find someone. It's gets frustrating so it's easier for me not to ask.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The best thing in the world for a
grieving parent on a day like tomorrow is for someone to call and ask, “Hey, do
you need someone to watch the kids?” (Accompanied by "bring them over" so I don't have to worry about cleaning</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">—</span></span>not even joking. :) )</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The second best thing would be to know my family went and
paid their respects as well. I have one
friend who mails us a note card every year.
Without fail! While I appreciate
all the sentiments I receive, whether verbal or through e-mail, this one stands
out. This one touches me and makes me
really feel Emily is remembered.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Each year it seems my focus changes, other needs may change, but this
remains the same. There’s not a lot
anyone can do to erase what’s going on inside our hearts and minds, but these
small things would be a tremendous help.</span></span></div>
Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-49181327516562737712013-04-22T08:23:00.001-04:002013-04-22T08:23:55.500-04:00Not Even In My Dreams...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When I was in my teens and early twenties, I used to try and
“make” myself dream about certain story lines I was working on – they usually included
Simon Le Bon.<span></span><span> </span>Picture first person fan-fic at its
worst.<span> </span>LOL.<span> </span>Anyway, I gave up trying because it never
worked. <span></span>Or, if it worked I didn’t
remember it come morning.</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So a couple of days ago I had a rare dream where a certain
Hollywood actor played a starring role.<span>
</span>Rare because one, I remembered it.<span>
</span>And two, because it was actually interesting!<span> </span><span style="color: #741b47;">But, it seems even in my dreams I can’t loosen
up.<b> </b></span><span> </span>I wouldn’t know what to do
with a hot celebrity in real life and apparently not in my dreams either.<span> </span><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTKbgtkK804095KZK1tlVZVXtoZ7ifRoGgKPWvazFjTp2Mqq64g_ztRmORhM4TAhkd6xLZ1NSrmKsHds5AQbfkPJt1bW4FCxCFu3O8_d-bTGnbyM-xxfKH0QFCqDlH7LgykWxd9sz4Q/s1600/robert-downey-jr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTKbgtkK804095KZK1tlVZVXtoZ7ifRoGgKPWvazFjTp2Mqq64g_ztRmORhM4TAhkd6xLZ1NSrmKsHds5AQbfkPJt1bW4FCxCFu3O8_d-bTGnbyM-xxfKH0QFCqDlH7LgykWxd9sz4Q/s1600/robert-downey-jr.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Robert Downey Jr. and I will just have to remain
friends in the land of make believe.<span style="font-size: large;"> <sigh></span></span></span></span></div>
Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-38252518759334723012013-04-17T06:18:00.003-04:002013-04-17T06:41:21.217-04:00Faking My Forties<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why Faking My Forties?
Because I never really think of myself as all grown up. Despite my 42 – <i>there I said it</i> – years on this planet I still feel like a freshman
in high school. Still looking for where
I fit in, still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and I still
don’t know what the hell to do with my hair.
Yet, I am married, have two kids <span style="font-size: large;">to take care of</span>, (lots) of bills to pay, a full time job,
housework… You get the picture. Although I still have homework, thanks to the
infamous “year off” (24 of them) and finally getting back around to finishing
college. So my plate is pretty full. That makes me an adult right? I mean, I’m old enough (check), and have all
those responsibilities (check), so I qualify – don’t I? </span></span></span><br />
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</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">But I still don’t feel like an Adult – with a capitol A. I kind of feel like a big, fat faker most of
the time. I think this is because I don’t
feel as “wise” as my younger self thought I would grow up to be one day. I mean, while growing up, all the adults in
my life (btw, most were younger than I am now) seemed incredibly decisive,
mature, and reliable. Not that I don’t exhibit
those qualities – I do. But there’s
always that freakin’ hindsight which is so very effective in nurturing doubt. All those grown-ups in my early years appeared
so self-assured. And, they were always
right! At least it seemed that way.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi70ZkZUPcZZVpyJyfxEdmrcrqnd5R1s60XoEwuBp1E_xQ5YDzDsNHHURie0KN6Wkn7lz62JLHC_mjtdEcBROmv9zZ6C6uHflI0dSpmvCe31Q6rT2J_KtUmoKlwkEHXC90ohrHeFxt3lw/s1600/adult.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi70ZkZUPcZZVpyJyfxEdmrcrqnd5R1s60XoEwuBp1E_xQ5YDzDsNHHURie0KN6Wkn7lz62JLHC_mjtdEcBROmv9zZ6C6uHflI0dSpmvCe31Q6rT2J_KtUmoKlwkEHXC90ohrHeFxt3lw/s320/adult.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">I had a friend, someone I looked up to, once tell me 35 was
her best year. She said at 35 you were
no longer in your twenties and still labeled “<span style="font-size: large;">naive</span>”, and wiser than you
thought you were at 30. I swear
sometimes I feel like I missed my thirties completely. Like I got into some time machine and ten
years just flew by. Heck, I’ll even add
my twenties in there too. </span></span></span></div>
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</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">I spent my twenties working my ass off, saddled early with too
much of responsibility at work, when I should have enjoyed life a little
more. Oh, how I wished I would have
loosened up and gone a little wild when I had the chance! And despite having my two children during my
thirties – who are truly the best things in my life – my thirties pretty much
sucked. Don't get me wrong, there were high points, but it was mostly s<span style="font-size: large;">tressful.</span> But I’ll save my eight years
worth of pregnancy-related emotional baggage for another time. Though <span style="font-size: large;">the worst </span>of it you can find <i><b><a href="http://www.tarastearns.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html" target="_blank">here</a></b></i>, if you’re
so inclined (it's sad, be warned).</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">So here I am, all grown up – technically. It happened so fast and I don’t feel nearly
as wise as I should be.</span></span></span></div>
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Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-79377427572543266722012-08-19T15:07:00.001-04:002012-08-19T15:17:12.989-04:00If you really want to know me...<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">Disclaimer; this is long, and not a particularly happy post.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today is my daughter’s birthday. The daughter that is no longer with us. It’s a sad day for us in many ways. In other ways it’s no different from any
other since we don’t just miss or think about her today. We do that every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For those of you that don’t know, Emily Rose was born August
19, 2004 and passed away the next day. I
don’t recall the exact times. They were
a blur then and I guess it never really mattered in the scheme of things. It was 36 hours – that, I do know. For most of that time I was post-anesthesia
drugged, and aided with pain meds for my unusually long C-Section scar. When I could finally keep my eyes open, the
nurses would not permit me to stand, walk, or even sit because I was still
recovering from a five hour operation and had ten inches of stitches to think
about. Well, at least they thought about
them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I only got to visit her once in the NICU right before they
took her in for a procedure. I insisted upon
it, but I had to do it from a stretcher – so it was awkward. I also insisted she be baptized and managed
to get the priest who married me and Chris to come to the hospital and perform
the baptism. Shortly after that she
died.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It’s been eight years, but I’m still affected by many things
from that experience. For instance I hate
when I forget things, and not for the normal reasons. When you go in to a hospital to have a baby
and leave with empty arms it’s about the most awful experience a parent
could go through. Lonely, lost, chilled
through, unsure, confused… A couple
months after going through this, I was driving my car and got that ‘oh shit,
did I turn off the stove?’ feeling. Then
I checked for my purse, which is next to me.
I know I’m forgetting something… then I realize no, I’m not. I’m <i>missing</i>
something. My baby. It transports me back to leaving Columbia
Presbyterian, and all those feelings are there again. I hate forgetting things. It probably explains why I pick details to
death. Maybe. Who knows?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another reminder from Columbia Pres., butterflies – beautiful,
graceful, colorful, fun – the symbol the hospital used to mark the doors of the
mom’s who were grieving. I suppose this
was meant as an indicator to the staff so they would know how to conduct
themselves. Most of the butterflies were
the cardboard decorative type you’d find in a store. Mine was about a quarter of the size, hand drawn in pen, and on a piece of folded white copy paper. I guess they ran out of the others –
depressing thought. Needless to say, I’m
not overly fond of butterflies as symbols and patterns. I don’t have a problem with live butterflies,
though. I’ve come along way since then; it’s
only recently that I put clothing on Danielle that has a butterfly. They're just used on so many little girly
things that they're hard to avoid completely.
I push myself to get past it, but I’m very conscious of the effort it
takes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I also don’t do ‘Thank You’ cards well and finally figured
out why. A few years ago while organizing
a closet I came across the thank you cards my mom gave me at my baby
shower – that took place a week or so before Emily was born. The cards matched the baby shower theme –
nursery rhymes – and she had all the address labels printed, even gave me 60 or
so stamps. They’re still sitting in my
closet. So this little unfinished
business still plagues me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another thing, I am so uncomfortable when someone asks me
how many kids I have. And you know how
often that happens – A LOT! I don’t usually
ask anyone that question either, unless I’m just returning it. As far as answering questions go, this one I
still stutter through. Feel guilty when
I give the easy answer – two. Feel dishonest
and evasive if I give my practiced answer – I have two with me. However, I would never come out and explain
more either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are so many other ways this has affected me. Especially, I am coming to realize, my
writing. I don’t like to feel things too
intensely. Happy or sad. Don’t get me wrong, I feel things, I
just don’t like extremes which are overwhelming. I
prefer logic and seeing things from both sides – kind of neutralizes them a
bit. But I see that I hold back a great
deal. Mr. Spock is my idol.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So bottom line, this is with me every single day. Not just today. And though all of the above are negatives, I
did learn a valuable lesson. The worst
thing that happened to me is not the worst that could have happened. Or, <i>has</i>
happened to someone else. I only had to
sit through one perinatal bereavement meeting to realize that! I look at things differently in that respect;
I never think I am alone and never say things couldn’t be worse.</span></div>
Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-31890329811538010332011-05-15T19:54:00.000-04:002014-01-19T15:15:56.273-05:00A Writers' Conference from a Newbie's Perspective<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>This is a pretty long post - at least for me. But I had so much to say! I don't imagine I will have another quite as long again, I do appreciate your time with this one. :-)</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In one of my bolder moments I went ahead and signed myself up for the Connecticut Fiction Fest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, I started having second thoughts about actually going. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There were going to be a lot of published authors at this conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There would be a lot of writers there to pitch their books (completed books) to editors and agents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to be around people that knew the industry well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here I am with nothing completed, nothing I was happy with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to a writer’s conference?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I am so glad I did.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Christyne Butler, Harlequin Special Editions author, the night before the conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our conversation was exactly what I needed to cement a couple of things in my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First and foremost, writers rock!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew this already; I just wanted to say it. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Second, I was trying too hard to conform to advice that just did not work for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was speaking to a multi-published author whose approach to writing was similar to mine. Yes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t tell you how good it was to hear this.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">In the morning, by the time the conference doors even opened, I had already met and spoke to at least six more writers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of them in varying stages of their career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in case anyone missed this point, you can be just starting out and go to a writers’ conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I highly recommend it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Eloisa James was the keynote speaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had the good fortune to meet her while standing in line for the toaster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never, to my recollection, have I been “star struck”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And apparently when I am awed by the person standing before me I become an awkward loser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Complete mental shut down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would happen again later when I met Kristan Higgins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps even worse.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Eloisa’s speech was warm and witty with a touch of outrageousness that was refreshing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really set the tone for the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never mind that seeing her throw on a pencil skirt over her pants (and still look great!) made me want to go work off the bagel I just ate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">There were four breakout sessions with three topics to choose from during each time slot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very difficult as I wanted to go to them all.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">The first one I attended was Annette Blair’s “What I Wish I’d Known Before I Started Writing”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the first things she said resonated with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(And I am only paraphrasing from here on out as I don’t want to misquote anyone).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone is worried that what they write won’t sell, but the only sure thing about writing is if you don’t write, you won’t sell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put this in the same category as you can’t edit a blank page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting the words down is key.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something else to think about; A page a day equals a book a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put that in the same category as losing a pound a week equals fifty-two pounds in a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not sure which is easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of other things; You need other writers and they need you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, voice matters more than technical perfection (over polishing can wash out your voice – been there and done that!).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, for the second session and the driving reason I signed up for the conference in the first place – Kristan Higgins “The Top Ten Mistakes in Characterization”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I go on, I have to say I am a huge fan of Kristan’s work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have not read her – DO!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that that’s out of the way, she spoke about common mistakes authors make with characters - while craftily weaving in pictures of James Franco every chance she had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure we all know it’s our job to make a reader connect to the character, at the same time making them unique, multi-layered and let’s not forget likeable and memorable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But how?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">She went through the top ten reasons characters fall flat and how to fix them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not go through all ten but her presentation was very well done, giving us examples we can all relate to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance; for <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Lack of Motivation</u></b> she used the classic Sleeping Beauty vs. a more modern Rapunzel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One slept while waiting for the hero to rescue her, one clubbed the hero on his head, held him captive and made him take her to see the floating lights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, my personal favorite, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Too Stupid to Live</u></b> (TSTL).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have a character that is too stupid to live, the reader just won’t sympathize or care what happens to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Characters should have good, believable, reasons to do what they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last one I will mention here is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Failure to Grow</u></b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Characters need to grow and learn – otherwise what really is the point?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fix this by focusing on the character instead of the plot.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next I went to Sarah Wendell’s “Reviews; Receiving and Reacting to them Like a Seasoned Pro”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For all those that know me, or have even read this far, you all know I am not a published author and in the scope of things nowhere near the point of receiving a review.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I was very much interested in what she had to say, she’s Smart Bitches after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been following her on Twitter for months and I think she’s intelligent, has a great handle on romance, and is just downright funny!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To prove that last part she brought what she referred to as “big girl pants” as a visual aid – literally a pretty large pair of undies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The point – that’s what you need when you are reading reviews of your work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That and a big grain of salt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She recommended sea salt as its grains are fairly large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, and chocolate. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could I forget chocolate – she handed out M&Ms. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her advice is to not respond to reviews, especially bad ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing good can come of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you want to thank a reviewer its best to do it privately.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Another point she made and it was echoed later during the Chat with Eloisa James session is that you should want varied reviews as readers want to see a variety of opinions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Further, both Sarah and Eloisa spoke about <span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">logarithms</span> websites (like Amazon) employ to direct people to other books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those “If you like X, you may like Z” suggestions that pop up when you are purchasing books through their sites are all based on ratings – and more likely lower ratings because research has proven that is what sells.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s all very complicated and won’t even try to explain it further at the risk of getting it wrong, but that was the gist I got.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">The last workshop I went to was Diana Holquist (aka Sophie Gunn) and Ellen Hartman’s “The Virgin Widow’s Heart Stopped When She Saw the Workshop That Would Change Her Life Forever: How to Recognize Cliches and Use Them to Make Your Writing Shine” (Whew, that’s a mouthful). They used excerpts from their own first drafts to depict empty, clichéd words and how they turned them into something substantial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And lists!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had “Top Cliché” lists; Descriptions, Characters, Situations, Openers, Love Scenes, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll list<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the ones I have been guilty of; “hearts” pounding or stopping, the supportive friend, Wills, excessive eating or drinking (need to get the characters out of the kitchen), opening with a heroine in transit and she’s running late, dressing scene, fascinating (not!) thought process, great sex “like never before” (LOL!), oh, and biting (but I’m keeping that one – sorry).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">They also read from a list readers had put together of the Most Hated Phrases in Romances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These included, but not limited to; “quivering”, “smelled of _____ and _____ and man”, slanting mouths, “secret place”, “smoldering eyes”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m sorry but I’ve never in my life read a book with “burning sword of manhood” used, however it apparently made the list.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Lastly, before the book signing and cocktail hour, Eloisa James spoke about the industry and how it is changing; e-books, Amazon’s line, Kindle and the promise of more money, the previously mentioned logarithms, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked the question; what is the best way to keep up with the changes, what source should we be looking to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her answer was Twitter. Yes, on Twitter following the publishers and key authors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if you are not already tuned in to Twitter I guess it’s safe to say you should be.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So that was my day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fun and filled with great information, meeting some wonderful writers published and unpublished alike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I got a picture taken with Kristan Higgins - she looks great in it, me? short and not so much. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">And t</span>o top it all off, I won one of the raffles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t think I was going to win. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, I just won an iPod Touch at a work related conference last month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, do you want to know when I predicted I would win something? (Because you did have to go up in front of everyone to get your prize).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the moment I spilled coffee all over myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I don’t just mean a little on my pants or shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am talking from my SHOULDER down my entire right side and even into my shoe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, you heard that correctly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did I manage to do this? I have no idea - it's a blank spot in my memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least it was at the end of the day.</span></div>Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300031284712015416.post-63667250251365801112011-02-20T15:19:00.000-05:002011-02-20T20:20:32.275-05:00My Life with Coffee Stains<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why write about coffee stains?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, here’s the deal, I have a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">slight</i> <ahem> reputation at work about my tendency to spill things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mainly coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result, I have endured - quite well, I might add - many barbs about who gets to sit next to me at a meeting when I have a cup of coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I’ve laughed along with others when my unfortunate habit is used to keep the mood light and the laughter going at an event (such as at the holiday luncheon).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">T</span>he important thing, though, is I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can</i> laugh about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re only joking with me and it happens to be quite true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One only needs to look at my desk for the unmistakable evidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right now, there are at least two notebooks, in which every page is now bordered on the top and half way down the side with the irrefutable crinkled, yellowed stains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My desk blotter shows at least a dozen tiny, dried droplets of the brew and I’m sure there is a ring somewhere if someone were to look closely.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why is this all so funny to my co-workers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The humor comes from the timing and location of these spills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course this never happens when I’m all by myself!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an example, when our CFO first came aboard he calls me, another manager and a supervisor into his office to get brought up to speed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I mention I also have the habit of talking with my hands?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to say only one hand, because I’m only part Italian – but that has nothing to do with the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, there I am saying something (most likely trying to sound intelligent) and cling – that’s my hand hitting the can of soda on the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I reach out and quickly grab the can before it lands completely on its side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To this day it is argued just how big of a mess was made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I swear that I caught the can before a drop was spilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone else ends the story with the CFO jumping back to avoid being soaked and everything on his table being destroyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bit over the top don’t you think? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I realize that involved a can of soda and not coffee, but that was THE event that set the wheels in motion. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I have come to accept this rep of mine in good humor and over time I have witnessed my co-workers experience coffee disasters of their own - which, yes, I happily point that out every chance I get!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But "coffee stains" is about more than just my spilling inclination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really do seem to attract the little suckers – the coffee stains, that is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get a new travel mug and lift it to take a sip and somehow coffee drips onto my shirt from under the lid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, most times when this happens I can move my badge over the stain and my ID covers it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From these incidents I have learned to dry the rim of the mug before screwing on the cap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See, I can adapt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, the one thing I still haven’t learned is to stop trying to convince myself that if I’m really careful – this time – I can take a sip of my coffee while I am walking…need I say more. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The places I have found coffee stains are countless and have me scratching my head; my nook, on pages inside a book, my pants, shoes, coat, car seat…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You get the idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is just one of many things in my life I have accepted will never change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a quirk about me that may not identify me as a whole, but one that hopefully shows people that I’m comfortable with who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Did you know that coffee stains don’t show up on a copy?</span></div>Tara Andrewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12992221256132339596noreply@blogger.com2